Some disabilities, conditions or chronic illnesses are not immediately obvious to others. For some people, this can make it hard to understand and believe that someone, with a “non-visible” condition genuinely needs support. Some people question whether you have a disability because you don’t look ‘like you have a disability”.
That is why they created the Hidden Disabilities Sunflower – to encourage inclusivity, acceptance and understanding.
It is a simple tool for you to share that you have a hidden disability voluntarily. Simply by wearing the Sunflower, you’re just letting everyone know that you might need extra help, understanding, or just more time.
It allows others to understand that the wearer may need a helping hand, understanding, or more time in shops, at work, on transport, or in public spaces. More places are becoming “sunflower friendly” including airports and larger shopping centres like Westfield.
Raising a child with a disability can be incredibly stressful. It is well known that chronic stress can cause many health issues, ranging from sleeping difficulties, chronic anxiety, clinical depression and a weakened immune system. While anything medical should be seen to by a doctor, it is also important to look at your life holistically and practice some self-care when you can.
For example:
Taking at least one hour of time to yourself a week to do things you enjoy – get a massage, read a book, watch a show/movie,
Incorporating a short practice of mindfulness into your daily routine – Box Breathing can help reduce stress and calm feelings of anxiety.
Mapping out your network of support so you know who to call upon when you’re in need of some assistance
Engaging in a practice of self-reflective journaling
In short, no. Working together with your child and addressing the reasons they don’t want to go to school should be the priority. It is important that they feel safe and that their well-being is important to you.
It is recommended that a dialogue is opened with the child. Questions should be asked so you can get to the core reason that school refusal is taking place.
Possible questions:
If you could change one thing about your school, what would it be?
Is there anyone bothering you at school?
How can I help you with school?
Are you worried about anything at school?
How are your friendships at school going?
Is anything worrying you in general?
Is there anything you wish your teachers knew?
Is there anything you wish I knew?
Strategies for dealing with school refusal:
Stay calm – This leaves space for your child to come to you in a calm way themselves.
Use positive language – For example, instead of ‘are you going to get up and go to school today?’ try ‘what shall we do after school today?’.
Debrief daily – Open the lines of communication for your chid to share what might be bothering them.
School refusal can be very complex:
Get professional guidance – starting with school staff. Speak to the class teacher, school counsellor, student services so you can work together as a team to help your child overcome their anxiety.
Speak to your doctor/paediatrician and get the support of a psychologist or counsellor who may also help to unlock why your child is not attending school and help address the problem of getting them back to school with their well-being in mind.
I will be writing a series about some simple techniques which could help children and adults with triggered anxiety to help manage their symptoms. (Please note that severe anxiety which is impacting significantly on a person’s life may need the intervention of medical professionals and trained therapists).
The 3-3-3 technique is a wonderful tool to use with children as it is easy for them to remember. The objective is for them to feel more mindful, focused and grounded when their anxiety is starting to feel overwhelming.
3-3-3 involves the person identifying 3 objects around them they can see, 3 things that they can hear and moving 3 body parts (ie their fingers, wrists and toes). It works to reconnect the person with their physical surroundings and become aware of their body movements instead of their symptoms of anxiety like intrusive thoughts. Some steps from Choosing Therapy:
Step 1: Focus on 3 Objects You Can See
Focusing on things that you can see helps you become visually aware of your surroundings. You can notice big objects such as a tree or a chair, or you can look for smaller, more discreet objects such as a pencil or a coin. The idea isn’t necessarily to have objects in mind that you want to see, but rather to focus on the world around you. This helps you deal with your anxiety by removing you from the mental chatter causing you stress.
Step 2: Focus on 3 Things You Can Hear
Pinpointing sounds is another great way to help you deal with anxiety. Diverting your attention to your environment can help you transition from a state of inward thinking to one in which you’re connected to your surroundings instead. However, depending on your location, you may have a hard time isolating sounds. Some things to listen for include a clock ticking, clacking of keys on a keyboard, or someone sniffling. If you are somewhere outdoors, you may notice leaves rustling in the wind, cars passing by, or dogs barking.
Step 3: Focus on 3 Things You Can Touch/Move
Lastly, find three things that you can touch or move. These can be within your reach or even parts of your body. Identifying tangible items is one of the fastest ways to ground yourself when you’re feeling anxious. Teaching yourself to focus on the physical environment helps you feel anchored and reminds you to be present.
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